Warriors: Laugh Out Loud
by charlie is kpop trash
Summary: A collection of (hopefully) humorous short stories. Formerly known as ThunderClan on Catmint!
1. ThunderClan on Catmint!

**Hi! I've decided to make some short stories that will (hopefully) make you laugh. I don't have a limit on stories I'm going to do, but I do have a limit on ideas! So if you have any suggestions for a funny story, type it in the reviews and it might be used!**

 **Story 1: ThunderClan on catmint!**

Squirrelflight walked into the clearing, a mouse in her jaws. Her mate, Bramblestar, leaped onto Highledge to call a Clan meeting. Once everyone arrived, he made his announcement.

"All cats must go to Jayfeather's den to eat a leaf of catmint! No arguing. Trust me, it's great!"

All of the cats in the Clan raced to the medicine den.

All except Squirrelflight.

When he saw her, Bramblestar came to cheer Squirrelflight up.

"Why did you give away our secret addiction?" She asked.

"So everyone can be crazy like us!"

After the leader finished, he ran towards the long line and leaped across all of them, with Squirrelflight right behind him.

"YAY BRAMBLESTAR!" The cats yowled. "WE LOVE YOU!"

Bramblestar jumped onto Highledge so everyone could see him. Catmint flew in the air, and everyone jumped to catch a piece. Squirrelflight tried to run away from the cats in mid-air, but then they all landed on her. _To the medicine den._ She thought.

 **The End.**


	2. The Giant Fish!

**Story 2: The Giant Fish!**

Mistystar dived into the water, her son and deputy Reedwhisker right behind her. All the cats in her Clan have been well fed since green leaf has started. Swimming in the lake hasn't disturbed any prey, so most of the RiverClan cats have been swimming to keep cool. Under the water, Mistystar saw a big lump. Thinking it was a twoleg thing known as a 'boat' Mistystar swished her tail to indicate danger. Then she started swimming to shore.

Once she and Reedwhisker got out of the water, Mistystar looked across the lake. A huge splash came from the middle of the lake. Once the water landed back in the lake, Mistystar saw the biggest fish she had ever seen. It was the size of a small boat and the colour of the setting sun. "Let's do some hunting!" Reedwhisker exclaimed.

Mistystar and Reedwhisker swam into the water side by side. When they got near the fish, they unsheathed their claws and scratched its side. It thrashed once and went limp. The fish was so huge that both Mistystar and Reedwhisker had trouble dragging it together. When they finally made it back to camp, Mistystar went to make dirt. When she came back, a war broke out.

"Reedstar! Reedstar!" Half of the Clan shouted.

"Mistystar! Mistystar!" The other half yelled back.

Mistystar leaped onto Tallrock and screamed as loud as she could. "STOP FIGHTING! BOTH REEDWHISKER AND I CAUGHT THE FISH!" The Clan went silent and all hung their heads in shame.

Dewkit sneaked out of the nursery and broke the silence. "LET"S EAT!"

All of RiverClan ran towards the fish and leaped on it and dug in.

 **The End.**


	3. PIZZA!

**Story number 3 as suggested by kayixxu: PIZZA!**

"Bramblestar, I have something to tell you."

ThunderClan's newest warrior, Stormcloud woke Bramblestar from his nap. _He better not be leaving us for a kittypet life._ Most cats were fine with the former kittypet, but there are some of them who don't trust him.

"Do you know the one thing that I miss about being a kittypet?"

"Um… Your brother?" Bramblestar had no idea why this was so important.

"No actually. I miss PIZZA!"

As soon as Stormcloud said pizza, a delicious smell hit Bramblestar's tongue.

"What is that BRILLIANT smell?"

"PIZZA! PIZZA! COME TO GET YOUR PIZZA!" Said a random grey tom with a funny accent and a weird black thing on his snout. The other cats started smelling the pizza and crawled out of their nests. The first cat there was Stormcloud, delight clear in his eyes.

"ONLY NINETY NINE CENTS PER SLICE!"

When the other cats heard ninety nine cents, they became confused and chaotic.

"WHAT'S CENTS?" They all screamed at the strange cat.

"It's a money. Don't a you know what a money is?" He said in his weird voice.

Every cat in the Clan shook their heads.

Except Stormcloud.

"A dollar for everyone!" He said to the crowd. "Just give it to Romeo and he'll give you pizza!

"YAY!" The Clan screamed, throwing their money in the air.

"Stormcloud is my new deputy!" Everyone in the Clan, even Squirrelflight cheered.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I think I might of a poisoned the pizza." Romeo said.

All the cats dropped dead, including Bramblestar.

Except for Stormcloud. And Jayfeather. "Now look at all the cats I have to treat!"

After seeing Jayfeather grumpy, Romeo ran back to Twolegplace, vowing to never go back to the Clans.

* * *

 _I guess my first job as leader is to bury the fallen._ Stormstar thought once he came back from Moonpool with the only other ThunderClan cat alive.


	4. Switched!

**Story number 4 as suggested by catgirl2900: Switched!**

Squirrelflight was out in the ThunderClan hollow, setting out the patrols.

"Mousewhisker can you lead a hunting patrol with Rosepetal, Molewhisker and Cherryfall?" She asked.

"Sure thing."

Squirrelflight continued setting the patrols when she heard a distress yowl from the forest. "HELP! A mouse is biting my tail!"

She ran out of the camp towards the scream, not sure what to expect. When she got there, she saw Mousewhisker spinning in circles, a mouse hanging from his tail. The other warriors were lying on the ground, dying from laughter.

"Firestar should have named him Mousetail!" Rosepetal exclaimed.

"MOUSETAIL! MOUSETAIL! MOUSETAIL!" They all screamed, laughing hard.

A vole quietly scuttled towards the cats, a tom locked on its vision. He crawled up to Molewhisker and bit onto his whiskers, his jaw never loosening its grip.

Rosepetal and Cherryfall laughed even harder. "VOLEWHISKER! MOUSETAIL! VOLEWHISKER! MOUSETAIL!" Meanwhile, Squirrelflight watched the whole scene, not sure what to do. She decided to be a sensible deputy and take control of the situation.

"Mousewhisker and Vole - I mean Molewhisker…" She couldn't resist any longer. She started laughing as hard as Rosepetal and Cherryfall until the sun set.

"Oops…"

The five cats walked back to camp, a funny memory in their minds for the moon.

* * *

 **I hope you guys liked this story! Feel free to suggest any ideas for funny stories. :)**


	5. Lionblaze's Love Affair!

**Story number 5 as suggested by Toaster Stroodal: Lionblaze's Love Affair!**

"You are my one true love."

Earlier that day, Lionblaze was struggling to get outside without getting caught. He was put on a hunting patrol, and had to go back to camp with his Clanmates. He had almost escaped through the dirt place tunnel when his mate, Cinderheart saw him trying to leave.

"Where are you sneaking off to?"

"Oh… Nowhere."

"Then why have you been so secretive this moon?"

"I guess… I don't know, my life has changed so much. Before I was a young, strong warrior who didn't have any responsibilities. Now…"

"Now you feel old? Now you feel like you have responsibilities? Before, you were the only hope to save the Clans. Now that you're normal, you think that you have so many responsibilities? I can't believe you Lionblaze."

He had stormed out of the dirt place and just went through the main tunnel.

"Hey Lionblaze! What are you doing?" Ivypool asked.

"Oh nothing. Just getting some fresh air."

What Lionblaze didn't know was that Cinderheart had gone through the dirt place tunnel, and was now following him. Now seeing Lionblaze telling a mushroom that it was his one true love, she gave away her position by letting out a small gasp.

"Who's there?" Lionblaze yowled.

Cinderheart raced out of the bush she was hiding in, rage clearly in her eyes. "I can't believe you Lionblaze! You love a mushroom more than me!?"

"Now there Cindy, I can explain."

"Don't call me that! You see your one true love here, she is now dead!" Cinderheart ripped the mushroom from the ground, and started chewing it in front of Lionblaze.

"No! Not my precious!"

Lionblaze would've said more, but he was cut off by the sight of his real mate dropping dead from the poison in the mushroom. He cried for the rest of the day.

* * *

 **If you have any ideas for a funny story, please leave a review with your suggestions! It'll be featured in one of the next chapters!**


	6. Cell Phones!

**Last week I had writer's block (sigh) so this week I'm going to give you an extra-long chapter. YAY!**

* * *

 **Chapter 6: Cell Phones!**

Dovewing's cell phone vibrated. When she looked at it, it read:

 **1 New Message**

She entered her password and went on Messages. Cool! A new message from Tigerheart!

 **Hey babe, wanna meet up 2night?**

Dovewing really wanted to, but she had to guard the camp that night.

 **Soz, got 2 guard camp 2night.**

Almost instantly, another message popped up. This time it was from Bumblestripe.

 **Meet me at the lakeside. Now.**

Dovewing raced towards the lake, wondering what the problem was if Bumblestripe could just call her. When she got there, he started straight away.

"Dovewing, I've got something important to tell you." Her phone vibrated.

"Wait a minute, my boyfriend just messaged me." Dovewing said, pulling her phone out from who knows where.

"I didn't just message you." Bumblestripe said, confused.

"Whoops, I meant Tigerheart messaged me." She said looking at her message:

 **2morrow will b cool.**

 **Sure.**

What Dovewing didn't know was that Bumblestripe was looking over her shoulder the whole time. When she looked up, he ran into the lake and drowned himself.

 _Well, now I have one less problem to worry about._ She thought, walking away from the crime scene.

* * *

Bramblestar still didn't trust his new cell phone. He missed his old Nokia that he had owned since becoming an apprentice. The last thing Firestar did before he died was upgrade everyone's phones. Some cats needed that like Mousefur, who still had a corded phone, but Bramblestar was perfectly content with his old phone. But someone replaced his phone while he was asleep, and that fateful day, he woke up very depressed. When he got a new message, Bramblestar didn't exactly want to pull his phone out.

 **1 New Message**

It was from Squirrelflight. It read:

 **Who do u want on the dawn patrol 2morrow?**

Bramblestar sighed. Ever since Squirrelflight became deputy, all her messages were to do with work. Bramblestar missed the old Squirrelflight, the apprentice who followed him to a secret meeting, the one who was always arguing, the one who lightened everyone's hearts with her silliness. Now she has an important role, she is boring.

 **Brackenfur, Lilyheart, Ambermoon, Cloudtail and Hollypaw.**

Bramblestar tried to keep his bad thoughts about his mate to himself. He decided to type it on his phone like a mini diary. The only app he had that he could type on was Messaging. He decided to type it up and delete it afterwards.

 **I miss Squirrelpaw. Squirrelflight was good at first, but ever since I named her my deputy, she has become boring. She used to send me cute emojis but now all the messages she sends me are about work, work, work. Work is important, but sometimes I think she needs to take a break.**

Bramblestar tapped the delete button, but the stupid touch screen sent his message.

To Squirrelflight.

As soon as he realised what happened, Bramblestar ran far, far away. Away from the Clans.

And to this day, Squirrelstar still wonders what happened to her mate and their former leader. He had sent her a message about work and she had dropped it in water while she was reading it! A few minutes later, he had gone missing. Squirrelstar just shrugged her shoulders.

* * *

 **The Warriors get cell phones thing is everywhere, but I hope you still enjoyed it! Leave any suggestions for funny stories in the reviews!**


	7. Ten Million Kits!

**As suggested by Guest: Ten Million Kits!**

* * *

You all know how Sorreltail and Ferncloud had six and seven kits each right? Well you're wrong. As a matter of fact they had five MILLION kits each. If you add it all up, that's ten million kits. Sorreltail's kits were:

Grasskit

Lionkit

Starkit

Lakekit

Sunkit

Rainkit

Applekit

Treekit

Barkkit

Brindlekit

Brackenkit

Thornkit

Stripekit

Crowkit

Leopardkit

Oakkit

Stormkit

Streamkit

Nightkit

Rosekit

Sweetkit

Berrykit

Spikekit

Tawnykit

Dawnkit

Hollykit

Darkkit

Marshkit

Leafkit

Cloudkit

Cherrykit

Blossomkit

Silverkit

Mistkit

Hawkkit

Toadkit

Frogkit

Sapkit

Snowkit

Frostkit

Flamekit

Hazelkit

Longkit

Tallkit

Firekit

Mousekit

Dapplekit

Pinekit

Tigerkit

Blackkit

Redkit

Yellowkit

Harekit

Weaselkit

Reedkit

Smokykit

Mistykit

Squirrelkit

Spottedkit

Maplekit

Bumblekit

Petalkit

Cinderkit

Heatherkit

Fernkit

Birchkit

Ivykit

Whitekit

These are all of her kits that survived! All the surviving kits Ferncloud had are:

Mudkit

Moonkit

Flowerkit

Sparkkit

Spotkit

Branchkit

Briarkit

Beechkit

Deerkit

Quietkit

Sparrowkit

Halfkit

Volekit

Swoopkit

Eaglekit

Mosskit

Bluekit

Vinekit

Cedarkit

Sprucekit

Rabbitkit

Loudkit

Chirpkit

Breezekit

Magpiekit

Badgerkit

Foxkit

Seedkit

Molekit

Milkkit

Brownkit

Bramblekit

Bushkit

Juniperkit

Shadekit

Rockkit

Pebblekit

Fishkit

Lilykit

Daisykit

Beekit

Racingkit

Beetlekit

Stonekit

Mistykit

Duskkit

Hopkit

Wingkit

Softkit

Goosekit

Featherkit

Tansykit

Patchkit

Adderkit

Swiftkit

Runningkit

Snifflekit

Sootkit

Ravenkit

Ashkit

Dustkit

Jaykit

Spiderkit

Poolkit

Firestar knew that there were too many kits in his Clan, so when the surviving kits grew up, he chose a few of the strongest and left the rest to fend for their selves. They eventually made two Clans, CrazyClan and ChaosClan, and they lived happily ever after, in craziness and chaos.

THE END.

Or is it?

* * *

 **I know most of the story is just names, but the next chapter will be the adventures of Starstar, leader of CrazyClan and Halfstar, leader of ChaosClan! It's going to be a mini trilogy, with this story as the first, so yippee! If you have any ideas for future funny stories, leave your idea/s as a review and I'll use it/them!**


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